Hey, I See You.

A reflection on showing up, listening, and being human

Photo by Pourya Gohari on Unsplash

Sometimes sitting down to write is the hardest part of writing.

I need something to write about.

What resonates?

What do people want to hear?

Lordy, it goes on and on. If you write, I’m sure you know.

Lately I’ve been struggling with direction. I’m deeply passionate about what I do, yet, reaching the people that need it the most (in my very humble opinion) often feels out of reach.

They’re entrenched in their lives.

Heads down.

Busy.

Struggling.

Doing their best to figure it out.

I get it.

I lived my entire life there.

Some days were good, others not so much. You know, the human experience. Constantly chastising myself for the failure to…name it: exercise, eat right, get more done, pray more, read more…and on and on it went.

It was a never ending cycle of always not good enough or progress, but still not there.

If I’m honest, I’d say I rarely felt good about myself. And yet, I smiled. I showed up. I tried. I was friendly. I was kind.

Here’s what I’ve learned since then: we ALL feel this way. Some more than others.

Even the people who appear confident and successful often admit to feeling inferior and like failure is right around the corner. Really? Yep, really. It’s the human condition. Research even backs it up. We’re almost wired to have more negative thoughts than positive ones. That’s why there’s so much emphasis on the neuroscience and “hacks” to try to outsmart our brains.

Which brings me back to my passion.

As someone who spent the majority of her life having learned to live small and quiet her voice, I’m now on a mission to show women it doesn’t have to be that way. My life has made a 180 degree turn. I no longer live quietly or shrink myself. I stand firm in my beliefs and values.

Not everyone will resonate with that and that’s okay.

What I love most is sitting with people and hearing their stories. Not to fix them or even change them. That part is up to them. I’ve learned to stay curious, to listen without judgment, and to genuinely care about how people are moving through this world.

I believe that kind of presence carries weight these days.

I believe people can begin to change how they think about themselves through simple, honest introspection. I met with a fellow coach recently who shared a practice he uses: handing a client a crystal ball to hold and asking what they see for themselves in one year.

Who do they want to be? What’s one step you could take toward that reality?

Nothing earth shattering. Just an object to hold that that helps them create a shift in perspective. Sometimes that’s all we need.

I continue to learn and put myself out there in hopes someone will see I’m serious about listening to them, wanting good for them. And if they invite my perspective, I’ll offer it. Without judgment.

I read an article recently about how much we’ve lost in our culture. We’ve replaced friendships…the kind where you speak to each other and spend time with each other, with our phones and scrolling. We rarely sit with books and travel to distant places or learn new things anymore. Instead, we watch countless hours of TV, unplugged from any human connection. We’ve lost the wisdom of our elders we once used to have available to us. Instead, it seems we’ve outsourced wisdom and distract ourselves from one another. Human connection.

It’s not meant to be a judgment. Just a noticing.

I’m trying to plug back in and connect with others. To approach people and their struggles with compassion and curiosity through my coaching. I’ve met wonderful people here on Substack. Had some great conversations and have even been invited onto a podcast (SS Live) in a couple months. All because one of us reached out and said, “Hey, I see you.”

That really matters.

So, I’ll end with this:

How do you connect with others?

Do you feel disconnected or are you doing ok?